Formula of Female PowerFormula of Female Power: body, psyche, state

Why I don’t work only with sex, only with the body or only with the head

I don’t want to give you one more piece of advice that you listen to, say “oh, interesting”, close your phone and go on living exactly as before. I want to show you how I work with women and why my method has three levels: body, psyche, state.

I have worked with women for many years, and in that time I have seen one thing: the request a woman comes with is almost always just the entry point. She says: “I want stronger pelvic floor muscles.” Fine, we work on the muscles. But along the way she suddenly starts to feel her body better, to control its reactions and her own pleasure. Then she notices that during sex it has become easier to say what she likes. Then that she has started thinking more about her own pleasure, not only her partner’s. And then she writes to me: “Nata, I came for something completely different. And now I feel sexier, more confident, and I like what is happening to me.”

This is not a pretty story for effect. In the reviews of the “Healthy and Desired” practicum, and there are thousands of them, women themselves describe exactly these transitions: from working with the body to sensitivity, a sense of self, freedom, confidence and their own pleasure. That is why I build my method on three levels. Let me explain simply what that means.

Level one: the body

You can read about sexuality as much as you like, know where every muscle is, how a woman gets aroused and how she is supposed to relax. But knowing your body and feeling your body are two different things. So on this level we don’t just talk. We do.

You receive PionBox with trainers from me, and we start working with the body from day one. We learn to feel and control the pelvic floor muscles, build contact with the body, work on sensitivity, do body and breathing practices. Everything that makes you slightly aroused. I always say: a slightly aroused woman is always a magical woman. That is what we are after. When you are in contact with your body, notice it, feel its reactions, it is a completely different experience from knowing in your head that you are sexy.

After the practicum women write: “I started to feel my body better”, “I started to feel and control my muscles”, “sensations during sex got brighter”, “there is more natural lubrication”, “orgasms got brighter and longer, a wild desire woke up in me, my husband is starting to hide from me”.

There are women who came after childbirth with very specific requests: weak pelvic floor muscles, leaking. And then they were delighted when it disappeared from their lives, and their gynaecologists noticed the difference at a check-up. As a bonus, students often write that periods stop being painful and the cycle becomes more regular, and that is especially welcome for those whose cycle had started acting up and causing anxiety. I gave up panty liners myself long ago, and my students give them up too: there is less discharge, because the vaginal microbiome comes back into balance. There are many pleasant side effects like that along the way.

But the body is only the first level.

Level two: the psyche

You can feel your muscles perfectly. But if during sex you are thinking “do I look attractive”, “I need to pull my stomach in”, “why does it take me so long to come”, it is hard for the body to simply start enjoying itself.

That is why the practicum has psychological practices, assignments, lectures and live Zoom calls with me, the most valuable element. On them we go through what a woman often never even noticed about herself. Shame. Control. Her own “allowed” and “not allowed”. Her attitude to her own pleasure. The ability to say what you want, or the opposite, “I don’t want this”. The ability not to wait for your partner to guess by himself what feels good to you. The fear that all the good will end, that I don’t match the ideals, the fear of being inconvenient, bright, noticeable. Not knowing how to trust yourself, a man, the world. Not knowing how to build a relationship. On the calls we work with any request that troubles you.

One student wrote something after the practicum that matters a lot to me. She came with a huge number of blocks and negative beliefs, and for years she had seen sex as a way to give her partner pleasure and get love and acceptance in return. And in the process she felt and lived through, for the first time, what she herself called “the right to my own pleasure”. Her sensations changed, she found freedom, a wish to experiment and a completely different attitude to sex.

It is on the level of the psyche that one of my favourite tools of my own lives: my magical game about the body, sex and relationships. Women roll a die, make moves and answer questions about themselves: about the body, about sexuality, about sex, about relationships. There is even a circle of negative beliefs you have to get out of to enter the game. People often ask me: is it like Leela? Almost. The only thing it has in common with Leela is that my game also does you good, but we explore different sides of our lives. When a woman draws a question card and an association card, she has a realisation: “aha, so that’s how it is”. Because it is one thing when I tell you something. And quite another when you see it yourself: here I stop myself, here I feel ashamed, here I stay silent, here I wait for the man to guess, here I have no idea what I want at all. The game helps you get to know not some abstract female sexuality, but your own. Many come back to play again, which means the tool works: otherwise why return?

Level three: the state

There is a huge difference between a woman who wakes up with the energy to want something and a woman who wakes up already wrung out. You can know a great deal about yourself. You can do the exercises. But if for months you have been living in “I have to, I have to, I have to” mode, you also need to work on how you feel.

That is why the practicum has meditations, energy and tantric practices, work with your state. I will not promise that after one meditation you will wake up a different person. But I want you to have concrete ways to bring your attention back to yourself, to notice your state, and to gradually bring more of what feels good back into your life. It is a process, and I will help you build in the right practices and rituals so that life gets easier. So that, finally, there is that lightness, trust and abundance.

A slightly aroused woman is always a magical woman. And a woman who has the energy to want is magical twice over.

Why one thing on its own doesn’t work

The unique thing about the practicum is that you level up all three at the same time, not just one.

What you do	What you get	What you miss out on
A psychologist’s office	You work through your fears	You don’t train the pelvic floor muscles
Pilates	You work with the body	You don’t understand why you are embarrassed to talk about your desires with your partner
The Emsella chair	The muscles twitch from the magnetic field while you sit	The brain takes no part in the training, you don’t learn to relax and reach orgasm, and the effect goes away along with the sessions. More about the chair
Massage	You relax the body	You don’t change the habit of putting yourself last
A holiday	You rest	You come back to the same exhausting rhythm

I will say a separate word about the Emsella chair, because it is sold as a replacement for training. I have sat on it myself at maximum power: it is blows to the pelvic floor, not training. The muscle twitches without your command, which means no habit, no control and no ability to relax appears, and the result lasts exactly as long as you keep going to the sessions. I went through in detail how it works and who it really helps in my article about the Emsella chair.

All of these things can be useful, I don’t deny them. It is just that none of them solves the problem as a whole, or it gives short relief after which you go back to what was. In the practicum we don’t stop at one thing. We work with the body, with what is going on in the head, and with your everyday state. Because most of the time, to bring back desire, pleasure and confidence, changing one thing is not enough. I don’t choose for you what you need most right now: body, psyche or state. We work on all the levels at once, and that approach gives a result that thousands of reviews confirm.

What I especially love seeing in the reviews: a woman comes with one request and at the end describes several changes. One came with dryness and pain during sex, and then tells me she started enjoying herself more, stopped thinking only about her partner’s pleasure, her orgasm got brighter, and the breathing practices changed how she feels in the morning. Another came after three pregnancies and writes: “I came back to myself”, started giving herself attention, felt energy and changes in her sexuality. Another wrote recently that what she liked was precisely the all-round approach: she got rid of the leaking, started getting aroused at the drop of a hat, became alive, playful, with a “spark” inside. Admit it, that is a great result: body, head and state, all three.

What I want you to take away from the practicum

There is one more thing that matters to me. I don’t want you to simply know more about sex after the practicum. I want you to apply it to yourself every day and pass it on: to your daughter, your sister, your friend, your mother. I often get messages: “I do this every day and I’ve taught everyone in my family.” That is exactly what I want: for there to be more healthy, happy and fulfilled women.

So that you don’t just know you have pelvic floor muscles, but can feel them and control them, to your own joy and your partner’s. Not just know you have a right to pleasure, but confidently do what you yourself like, and not only in sex. Not just hear that you should “love yourself”, but notice where you constantly push yourself aside and put yourself down. Not just want to be sexy, but know your body, its reactions and your desires, and not think you want too much. Freedom is what women get when they come to me. The freedom to be yourself and to stop being embarrassed about it, hiding it and playing it down.

For all of this to happen in practice, there is support. A curator checks your assignments and helps you move on. A Telegram chat where students talk and where I talk with you too. Live Zoom calls with me. That is one of the reasons I get so many grateful reviews not only about the practices but about the support: students write separately about the checked assignments, the personal answers, and the fact that they were never left alone with the process.

The “Healthy and Desired” practicum (the practicum is in Russian and Ukrainian) is ten years old. Over that time it has become complete, because it is alive: it changes and gains new practices to match your requests. That is why so many women take it again, a second and even a third time, and find something new every time. As I say: “Healthy and Desired” is my soul.

Don’t put it off

If you are reading this and recognising yourself, don’t put it off. It will not sort itself out, I have seen that in hundreds of thousands of my followers. The muscles get weaker, the beliefs grow in deeper, and the distance in the couple grows. In a year the same task will cost more: in energy and in the relationship. Start today, you are reading this article for a reason.

You have two paths.

1. Figure it out on your own, piece by piece: a little about the body, a little about the head, and wait (you have probably done that already…).
2. Figure it out with me. You can come to a free consultation: I or my team will help you find on which of the three levels you are stuck. Knowing the cause and knowing what exactly you should do are two different things. And if you already understand that you want to work with the body, the head and the state at once, come to me at the “Healthy and Desired” practicum.

I don’t want you to believe me just because I told it nicely. Look at the women themselves: what they came with, what they did, what changed for them and what they say about themselves afterwards. And then decide for yourself how much this approach speaks to you.